(Diary of an Eight Month Old- contd.)
People go to Paris for love, romance, shopping, the Eiffel Tower and French cuisine. What do you expect an eight month old will do there?
While my parents tried their best to enjoy Paris on their first post-baby vacation, I tried to make it a vacation they would not easily forget. After all, how often do you travel to Paris with an eight month old?
Imagine the serene waters of the River Seine flowing through the romantic city of Paris. Picture a boat with dozens of tourists cruising atop these waters. Visualize my parents gazing out at the city’s significant monuments, when suddenly their noses catch a whiff of… guess what? My poo! Mum was like, “We have to clean it.” Papa goes, “Not here, just imagine the smell once we open his diaper!” Mum finally silences Papa’s pleading look with an emotional, “We can’t leave our kid lying around in his poo.”
They tried to discreetly clean me up and shove the dirty diaper into a garbage bag at the bottom of my pram. Meanwhile, I enjoyed the looks we got from our fellow passengers!
2) Created a Commotion in the Notre Dame Church
After all the hullabaloo at Paris’s top tourist attractions, I was quite stunned to be greeted by utter silence when I entered the Notre Dame church. It was dark and quiet and even though the place was milling with people, there was a hushed silence. While my parents talked in whispers, admiring the stained glass and sculptures, I decided to check out the echo effect in the church.
“Ya,ya,ya,ya,ya,ya,ya!!!!” I screeched. It was amazing. My voice echoed off all the walls and returned manifold in volume. The silence deepened as people turned to stare at my parents in disapproval. But I was having too much fun. “PA,PA,PA,PA,PA,PA,PA!”, I shrieked, louder yet. My Mum wheeled the pram around and ran out of the church, muttering apologies. But not before I managed a final, “BA!BA!!BA!BA!!BA!BA!!BA…..”
3) Snored in the Pantheon
After all the fun I had at Notre Dame, I was exhausted. I decided to spare my parents for a while and napped while they walked uphill towards the Pantheon. I must have over-slept because by the time I woke up again, they were done with the visit and were breathing a sigh of relief. I was almost disappointed until I heard them mention how I’d snored right in the middle of the sacred monument. A successful baby visit, I smiled to myself.
4) Ate Cerelac at the Arc de Triomphe
The Champs Elysees is a mighty long road. Starting from our apartment near the Louvre, we walked through the Tuileries Garden, past the giant Ferris wheel and all along the Champs Elysees to finally arrive at the Arc de Triomphe. After this almost 4km long walk, I was ravenous and kicked up a fuss until my parents sat at the feet of the monument and fed me Cerelac. Now that is a nice baby thing to do, right? You can’t say you went to Paris when you were eight months old and didn’t eat Cerelac at at least one of the famous landmarks.
5) Wailed During the Eiffel Tower Light Show
We visited the Eiffel Tower during the daytime and I obliged my parents by posing with a nice smile, but that was not sufficient for them. They wanted to see it at night from the Trocadero gardens across the river, when the Eiffel Tower lights up. Now their plan as such wasn’t bad, except that it didn’t get dark before 10pm in the night. And they wanted to catch the twinkling lights at the turn of the hour. We reached at 9.30pm and saw a fairly deserted open space looking onto the beautifully lit up tower. Fifteen minutes later, the place was milling with people and yet more tourist buses were dropping off people by the hordes.
By 9.55pm, thousands of people were standing in that space, staring at the tower through their phones! Really? You come all the way to see the spectacle on your phone? At 9.58pm, I decided I’d had enough. I was cold and sleepy, so I started wailing at the top of my lungs and didn’t stop. My parents saw the sparkling light show at 10pm holding a bawling baby and didn’t even wait for the show to stop five minutes later. Within minutes, they’d whisked me off in a taxi.
All together, I have to accept that Paris was rather entertaining. I don’t know how much my parents will remember about the Eiffel Tower or the Notre Dame, but they sure will remember these unforgettable baby moments I created especially for them!
If you enjoyed reading about my Paris moments, don’t miss reading about my memorable holiday in Dubai!
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PIyushi Dhir is the author of the romantic novels, 'In Search of Love' (2014), 'I'm Yours, The Next Time' (2015) and 'Enmeshed Evermore' (2015). A voracious reader, a keen traveler and an ardent dog-lover, Piyushi currently resides in Ivory Coast, Africa. A nomad at heart, she loves to discover new places and capture the hues of life with her pen.