Five Things That Annoy a Pregnant Woman

Pregnancy is a nine-month roller-coaster ride that encompasses never-before-experienced highs, inexplicable mood lows, hormones-gone-berserk, anxieties of the wierdest kinds and what not. Everyone tries to please you and yet, there comes a time when just about everything starts to irk you. Here is a list of things that annoyed me no end by the time I reached the ninth month of my pregnancy.

1. Mosquitoes

Here you are, barely coming to terms with the distorted body shape you’ve acquired, learning to waddle around and sit without looking like a hippopotamus. And you’re visited by a mosquito who decides he rather likes the sweet blood running through the veins of your farthest toe. Now how on Earth are you supposed to contort your body to reach beyond this barrel of a stomach you have and itch that little toe?

2. Advice

Guess what? From the day you announce that you’ve conceived, you start receiving tons of advice. From excited grandmothers-to-be, enthusiastic relatives, excited neighbours and even friends who have no experience whatsoever. As if that isn’t enough, you sign up for mailers, pick up baby books and basically bury yourself under a deluge of information for nine months. In the last lap, when just about everything is unbearable, the last thing you want is some more advice. But you know what, it’ll still come your way, right until the last minute and beyond!

3. Nights

A very sane piece of advice that everyone gives you in the end is to rest. Get as much sleep as possible now, because after the baby comes, you can forget that something called rest exists. In theory, this sounds really nice. In practice, try balancing yourself on a football sized stomach and getting some sleep. Firstly, finding a suitable position to get comfortable is like finding a needle in a haystack. Even if you manage something vaguely acceptable, don’t be surprised if you have a nice sharp jab coming your way from the inside. And just when you’ve finally started dozing off, you realize you need to pee. Now try rolling yourself off the bed!

4. Shopping

There has barely been a time in my life when shopping hasn’t helped me beat away my blues and cheer me up. But you know what? When you stop fitting into any clothes except barrel-sized nighties and when standing on your feet is more challenging than rock-climbing, you realize that the last thing you want to do is go shopping. But the list does not end. Just when I think I’m all set, I realize that none of the clothes I’ve picked up for the baby have full-sleeves. And though I thought I’m well-stocked on clothes to nurse the baby, I suddenly suspect that I’m not going to fit into any of them. Thank God for online shopping or I would have had to set up a second home in the market.

5. Food

Picturing a nice rolly-poly lady feeding herself silly? Well, after all these months of looking at my food and seeing the nutrients they carry, instead of the taste they have, and after indulging all my cravings and yet balancing it out with fruits and greens and milk and God knows what, I suddenly can’t stand the sight of food anymore. That is not to say that I’m not hungry. There is, after all, a live organism inside me seeking out all the nutrition it needs with full gusto. But when I try to eat now, my entire digestive system protests. For one, it barely has space to function. So where is the food supposed to go? And then I have some recent friends to boot, like indigestion, loose motions and heartburn. Let’s not even talk about food. 

So if you always pictured pregnancy as this ultimate time of rest, relaxation and endless pampering, here’s a reality-check. To all the guys out there, if your pregnant partner snaps at you no matter how nice you’re being, hope this helps you understand just how much she is on the edge. Strive on, be a little more nice.

And girls, if you’ve been there, you’ll know just what I’m talking about. If you’re expecting at the moment, there’s just a little more to go. And if you’re yet to get there, well, God bless you!